Are YOU ready for love? Have you taken inventory of all of the qualifications that you want in a mate? Done a checklist about all of the things it will take to win your heart? Have you written it down? Prayed over it? Memorized it? Good, now that's the easy part. Yup, as hard as it may have been to streamline your list, you are not even half way there yet. Why? Well, because the law of attraction states that YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU PROJECT. So considering that, it doesn't matter what you say you want if you are not prepared to attract what you want. That is not an external process; it's an internal one.
You have to do the excavation work to get to your core to find out who you are and what you deserve. You have to tear off all of your layers and be your most organic, authentic self. Are you prideful? Work on it! Are you selfish? Deal with it! Are you mean? Get it together! You can't say you want someone who is funny if you won't laugh out loud; you can't say you want someone who selfless and you won't share anything you have. It doesn't work like that because the law of attraction says that you draw to you who you are.
Someone is reading this post and saying, "Not me! I have __________ and ___________. And everyone who knows me says that I am the __________________ person they know. And I keep meeting people who are not worthy of my time." I'm sure that there is some truth to that, but consider this: if a person is not worth your time, why are you letting him/her take up your valuable time? Seriously, if someone is not up to your standards, why would you waste both of your time? If you go to a store looking for an item of clothing, would you purchase something that didn't fit (well, some people might, but that's a different post for a different day)? If you went to a restaurant, would you be satisfied if they put your meal on a garbage can lid (Cosby Show reference) and served it to you? Probably not, so why would you allow someone to occupy your heart, mind, body and/or soul who doesn't fit? Then when it doesn't work out or end in your favor you get upset, when you should have seen it coming all along. See, this harkens back to self-awareness and self-appreciation: you won't allow anyone who can't add to you, subtract from you. I'm not talking about at work or at school or anywhere where you have to interact with less than desirable folks. I'm talking about your own personal and valuable space, where only you get to hand out the VIP cards and NO ONE can tell you who to allow at your heart's table.
Are you ready for love? Have you done the work on yourself to attract someone who is suitable and deserving of your time? Have you made a commitment to deal only with folks who serve to better you and would have you do the same (See my last post on being loved...the right way)? Moving forward, be more selective about the people you let into your space. After clearing away the clutter or debris in your heart, mind, body and/or soul, you will find true love--even if it's only with yourself!
India Arie "I Am Ready For Love"
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
I Want You...The Right Way
"I want you...the right way...", so sings Marvin Gaye in his pleading love song "I Want You." These are very important words: "the right way", because they signify something that is not just a fleshly desire, but an understanding of good old fashioned love. "I want you...the right way"--not just any old kind of way, but a special kind of way. His want has standards and is not your garden variety want. He is saying that he is looking for reciprocity in his love and wants to receive as good as he is willing to give. (Lyrics here)
When was the last time you professed your love to someone? Seriously. And not just in a subliminal "sorta kinda" way. Remember in elementary school when we put our feelings out there? When we secretly passed notes with "Do you like me? Circle one: Yes or No." The more patient of us might have added a "maybe", just in case our intended was undecided. However, as we get older, we don't necessarily want to be upfront with our want. I want you. Seemingly simple, but within that short phrase is an air of vulnerability. Are you willing to take the risk? Maybe some of us have experienced an unrequited love that has left us questioning our suitability for a relationship. And that fear may get in the way of us being able to reveal our hearts to another.
How many of you have standards about what you will and will not accept in your romantic relationships? Or do you just take what you can get? Putting your feelings out there can be risky, but, oh the benefits of a good response to your desire. This is not just for single folks either, because the committed couples and married folks have to make sure that they are not taking each other for granted. Expressing your desire or want can be a wonderful way to jump start a relationship. The right way.
Marvin Gaye "I Want You" (The classic)
Erykah Badu "I Want You" (another take on expressing desire...)
When was the last time you professed your love to someone? Seriously. And not just in a subliminal "sorta kinda" way. Remember in elementary school when we put our feelings out there? When we secretly passed notes with "Do you like me? Circle one: Yes or No." The more patient of us might have added a "maybe", just in case our intended was undecided. However, as we get older, we don't necessarily want to be upfront with our want. I want you. Seemingly simple, but within that short phrase is an air of vulnerability. Are you willing to take the risk? Maybe some of us have experienced an unrequited love that has left us questioning our suitability for a relationship. And that fear may get in the way of us being able to reveal our hearts to another.
How many of you have standards about what you will and will not accept in your romantic relationships? Or do you just take what you can get? Putting your feelings out there can be risky, but, oh the benefits of a good response to your desire. This is not just for single folks either, because the committed couples and married folks have to make sure that they are not taking each other for granted. Expressing your desire or want can be a wonderful way to jump start a relationship. The right way.
Marvin Gaye "I Want You" (The classic)
Erykah Badu "I Want You" (another take on expressing desire...)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Understanding Fear: The Root and the Resolution
A friend and I recently had a conversation about overcoming fear. He wanted to do something new, but was afraid to take the essential first steps. As I tried to encourage him by speaking power into his dream, he said, "Thanks, sis. That sounds good, but I gotta make myself believe it." And then a light bulb went on...
Often when we talk about fear, we try to address the fear, to make sure that we identify what is at the root of what is holding us back. But, thanks to my friend, I know that fear, like faith, is rooted in belief...let me repeat that: FEAR, LIKE FAITH, IS ROOTED IN BELIEF. What that means simply is that we deal with fear like it is its own entity. We ask questions (valid ones, no doubt) about the who, the why, the how, the where and the what about fear. However, what we might overlook is that fear (as it relates to progress) is you believing that something isn't possible.
You want to be successful, but you are afraid to do the necessary things to make this a reality. Why? Because you believe that you don't deserve to be successful...WHAT? (I hear you yelling!!). It might seem crazy, but it is true. You have to recognize that if you believed that you deserved to be successful, your fears would be minimized if not resolved. Your belief puts you ahead of the pack because it allows you to see you as your full self.
I am not trying to tell you that being fearful is the only obstacle to achieving your dreams. I am not suggesting that fear and faith are one and the same. What I want you to take away from this is that fear is just you believing that something isn't possible for you. If you can retrain your mind to know that you deserve the best of all things, your fear can be redirected as faith. With hard work and planning, many of the things that you have identified for yourself can become a reality.
To all of you who are standing on the cusp of your dreams, please take that essential first step by believing that what you have designed can manifest itself into diligent action. And to my friend, who inspired this: when you believe, you will be unstoppable. I wish you this.
Often when we talk about fear, we try to address the fear, to make sure that we identify what is at the root of what is holding us back. But, thanks to my friend, I know that fear, like faith, is rooted in belief...let me repeat that: FEAR, LIKE FAITH, IS ROOTED IN BELIEF. What that means simply is that we deal with fear like it is its own entity. We ask questions (valid ones, no doubt) about the who, the why, the how, the where and the what about fear. However, what we might overlook is that fear (as it relates to progress) is you believing that something isn't possible.
You want to be successful, but you are afraid to do the necessary things to make this a reality. Why? Because you believe that you don't deserve to be successful...WHAT? (I hear you yelling!!). It might seem crazy, but it is true. You have to recognize that if you believed that you deserved to be successful, your fears would be minimized if not resolved. Your belief puts you ahead of the pack because it allows you to see you as your full self.
I am not trying to tell you that being fearful is the only obstacle to achieving your dreams. I am not suggesting that fear and faith are one and the same. What I want you to take away from this is that fear is just you believing that something isn't possible for you. If you can retrain your mind to know that you deserve the best of all things, your fear can be redirected as faith. With hard work and planning, many of the things that you have identified for yourself can become a reality.
To all of you who are standing on the cusp of your dreams, please take that essential first step by believing that what you have designed can manifest itself into diligent action. And to my friend, who inspired this: when you believe, you will be unstoppable. I wish you this.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Loving Yourself
Hey Beautiful--how much do you love yourself? Seriously...How. Much. Do. You. LOVE. Yourself? Many of us might fall into a rehearsed pseudo-confident, "I love me!!" full of the obligatory neck roll or hand on the hip to punctuate your seriousness about the strength of your self-love. But do you mean it? Down to your core--do you mean it? With every fiber of your being and down to the bone marrow, do you mean it? What do you love about you? What are the things you do well? What needs improvement? Why do you love yourself? Think about it, so many of us put on our game faces, but at the end of the day, we grapple with issues of self-worth and identity. And because of this, sadly, we don't truly know WHO and HOW we are.
Unfortunately, we often measure our value by what others tell us we are worth or by what we have. Both of those methods are sure fire self-love killers if you don't have people who speak greatness into your life or if your material possessions aren't top notch. Guess what? You will always fall short if you compare yourself to what others have. That's a quick way to feel bad about yourself constantly.
You have to know that you are your best thing; you know you best. No one can pour anything into you that you can't pour into yourself. Stop giving the best of you away. Too often, we save the scraps for ourselves because we have been taught that self-sacrifice is honorable. While sacrifice definitely has its place, no one should offer him or herself up as a sacrificial lamb. From this day forward, promise to love yourself without hesitation or compromise. You deserve it!!
To get you in the mood for practicing self-love, here is the classic poem, "Still I Rise" by the incomparable Maya Angelou. Enjoy!!
Still I Rise
by Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
"Still I Rise" courtesy of poets.org
Unfortunately, we often measure our value by what others tell us we are worth or by what we have. Both of those methods are sure fire self-love killers if you don't have people who speak greatness into your life or if your material possessions aren't top notch. Guess what? You will always fall short if you compare yourself to what others have. That's a quick way to feel bad about yourself constantly.
You have to know that you are your best thing; you know you best. No one can pour anything into you that you can't pour into yourself. Stop giving the best of you away. Too often, we save the scraps for ourselves because we have been taught that self-sacrifice is honorable. While sacrifice definitely has its place, no one should offer him or herself up as a sacrificial lamb. From this day forward, promise to love yourself without hesitation or compromise. You deserve it!!
To get you in the mood for practicing self-love, here is the classic poem, "Still I Rise" by the incomparable Maya Angelou. Enjoy!!
Still I Rise
by Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
"Still I Rise" courtesy of poets.org
Sunday, July 18, 2010
From the Soul Question: How Do You Handle Frustration
All of us feel frustrated at different times for various reasons. Unfortunately, we sometimes don't vent our frustrations in constructive ways and that is when we do ourselves a disservice. When you are frustrated, how do you handle it? Do you have someone you can talk to? Do you engage in self-destructive behaviors? Moving forward, make a vow to identify your frustrations and come up with a strategy to handle them BEFORE you get frustrated. This way, you can make a solid plan that will be beneficial to you when you need it most. In addition to making a plan, be sure to work to identify your body's cues that frustration is mounting. The benefit of this is that you might even be able to ward off frustration before it fully implants itself into your psyche. Frustration is a natural human emotion that can be destructive if it's left untended; however, frustration addressed properly can be used as motivation to do something better or differently.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Friday Flirt--Let's Start a Love Movement
I'm gonna start a love movement y'all. Seriously...far too many of us are missing romantic love in our lives. A couple of weeks back, I mentioned how we have forgotten about the art of seduction and the thrill of anticipation. When was the last time you were courted? When was the last time you went on a date with your spouse, significant other or a new prospect? When was the last time you put on all of your smell goods and a nice outfit to enjoy the company of your lover? When was the last time you felt truly beautiful (men, too) or sexy even?
I must confess that I'm guilty of ignoring the more sensual side of my nature. Family, work and other responsibilities have caused me to be distracted and neglect an essential part of my life: romance. Unfortunately, this is the first thing that often suffers when one's schedule is too tight. Recognizing this, I am trying to put more romance back into my life.
In that spirit, I introduce to you a new section called "Friday Flirts." It will usually feature a love song or a love poem to help you jump start your weekend eros. As I move forward in the quest to bring love back, I will seek to identify how we move in our love relationships. The first attempt to work towards love can be found in the following Anthony Hamilton song "Float." Hamilton's velvet vocals caress the notes and bring to mind a night of passion...Enjoy!
I must confess that I'm guilty of ignoring the more sensual side of my nature. Family, work and other responsibilities have caused me to be distracted and neglect an essential part of my life: romance. Unfortunately, this is the first thing that often suffers when one's schedule is too tight. Recognizing this, I am trying to put more romance back into my life.
In that spirit, I introduce to you a new section called "Friday Flirts." It will usually feature a love song or a love poem to help you jump start your weekend eros. As I move forward in the quest to bring love back, I will seek to identify how we move in our love relationships. The first attempt to work towards love can be found in the following Anthony Hamilton song "Float." Hamilton's velvet vocals caress the notes and bring to mind a night of passion...Enjoy!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
And Then There's Hope...
"Back when I had a little,
I thought that I needed a lot.
A little was overrated;
But a lot was a little too complicated.
You see, zero didn't satisfy me;
A million didn't make me happy.
That's when I learned a lesson:
That it's all about your perception,
Hey, are you a pauper or a superstar?
So you act, so you feel, so you are.
It ain't about the size of your car,
It's about the size of the faith in your heart..."
~ "There's Hope" by India Arie
The dictionary describes hope as "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best." Hope is what many have said "springs eternal" and is "everlasting." Clichés aside, the spirit of hope can't fully be described. Its essence is so necessary, but in many ways it is indefinable. Sometimes hope rests in the intake of breath or the bat of an eye. Or hope comes in written word or a musical note. At other times, hope rests in a hug or a first kiss or...
Too many of us get caught up in the rigor of our daily lives and we sacrifice a bit of our hopefulness for a cautious "wait and see" attitude. We don't want to give in to our inner selves where hope resides. That little tingle of anticipation, of having, of needing, of visualizing--that's hope. Hope signals the possibility of what is to come, where dreams and plans intersect.
In so many ways, we have lost the ability to be hopeful. As we grow and mature, we might equate hope with an unnecessary use of energy: "I don't want to hope; I'd rather see how things turn out." But why? Hope is an essential life skill; in order to get to the next level of your life, you have to plan, you have to implement and guess what? You have to hope. In the beginning, there is hope, sometimes mistaken as want or desire. In the first moments, before you know, you hope.
I thought that I needed a lot.
A little was overrated;
But a lot was a little too complicated.
You see, zero didn't satisfy me;
A million didn't make me happy.
That's when I learned a lesson:
That it's all about your perception,
Hey, are you a pauper or a superstar?
So you act, so you feel, so you are.
It ain't about the size of your car,
It's about the size of the faith in your heart..."
~ "There's Hope" by India Arie
The dictionary describes hope as "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best." Hope is what many have said "springs eternal" and is "everlasting." Clichés aside, the spirit of hope can't fully be described. Its essence is so necessary, but in many ways it is indefinable. Sometimes hope rests in the intake of breath or the bat of an eye. Or hope comes in written word or a musical note. At other times, hope rests in a hug or a first kiss or...
Too many of us get caught up in the rigor of our daily lives and we sacrifice a bit of our hopefulness for a cautious "wait and see" attitude. We don't want to give in to our inner selves where hope resides. That little tingle of anticipation, of having, of needing, of visualizing--that's hope. Hope signals the possibility of what is to come, where dreams and plans intersect.
In so many ways, we have lost the ability to be hopeful. As we grow and mature, we might equate hope with an unnecessary use of energy: "I don't want to hope; I'd rather see how things turn out." But why? Hope is an essential life skill; in order to get to the next level of your life, you have to plan, you have to implement and guess what? You have to hope. In the beginning, there is hope, sometimes mistaken as want or desire. In the first moments, before you know, you hope.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Soul Food: James Baldwin and My Ideas of Selfhood
Let me tell you something about me--I am a nerd. I say that without any hint of self-deprecating charm. Truly, I straddle the line between diva and bookworm (proudly). I even read the backs of cereal boxes or fix-it manuals if there is nothing else around to read. I guess it is no surprise that I ended up being.... (drum roll please) an English educator. Seriously though, I can get lost for hours in a good (or even not so good) book.
One of the first authors I fell in love with was James Baldwin. I was a precocious reader and really had no business reading him when I was only 12 or 13. However, his critical notes and essays started a fire in me that continues to burn to this day. Why? Well, because he lived his life according to his ideas about who he should be. He refused to be defined by a society that oppressed him due to his race, sexual preference and socioeconomic status. He rewrote the rules about what is to be accepted and when he couldn't find satisfaction here, he quit this place. He left the United States and became one of the black expatriates who lived abroad. He was a man ahead of his time and beyond this place. He had fears and insecurities like the best of us, but he moved beyond that. He struggled with self-doubt and identity, but he moved beyond that. He made it his life's mission to speak truth to power and live that truth and exercise that power (in whatever ways that he could).
I chose the introductory quote because I believe that sometimes we get caught up in what has happened to us. We live in a place of "used to be" and "when I was." Absolutely, we are products of the things that have happened to us. However, we are more than those things. Whether we are privileged or not, we each have experiences that are of value to the future us. You may have done some things in the past that you are not proud of and may have moved towards redemption or enlightenment. However, self-doubt creeps in and you can't see yourself for the better you that you've become. How sad is it that you let those past experiences define who you are. In many ways, you become one dimensional, much like "Flat Stanley." I would suggest, like the ever wise Mr. Baldwin, that you are much more than that. If you find yourself living in the past or in a world of one note experiences, please know that you are much more than that. And if you find that you can't move beyond the you you feel you have to be...pick up a book, go to a museum, take up a hobby...do something differently, so that you can look at yourself through fresh eyes. Good luck!!!
Image courtesy of Google Images.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Soul Satisfying Music: "The Light" by Common
As a poet, I've always lurved Common's music. His earnest delivery coupled with heartfelt lyrics have always been my thing. I never had a crush on him, but I can definitely appreciate his eye candy appeal. He seems to be a man of measure: a grass roots political activist, a loving father, a rapper extraordinaire, basically, (to use the vernacular) a good dude. Whenever I needed motivation or inspiration, I could pop in one of his CDs and write for days and days and ...
In this particular video, he professes his love for his "light." His leading lady in the video was his then lover, the neo-soul diva (another fave) Erykah Badu. Although their real life affair ended, this video showcases the intensity of a love that burned for them and maybe for many of us. Another reason I love this video is because there is a strong black man loving a strong black woman without apology. A do-right man and his do-right woman. I also vibe on the fact that he professes his love right from the beginning: "I never knew a love love a love like this..." I know many people don't like hip-hop, but that's because they listen to the testosterone heavy, radio friendly, pseudo hip hop that is packaged for the masses. Common defies traditional expectations of rap music and pours his heart on wax every. single. time.
Watch the video and listen to a Man talk about his Woman and how he feels she should be treated. Have you defined how your partner should treat you? If not, listen and learn. If so, I'm giving you a cyber fist dap!! Enjoy!
In this particular video, he professes his love for his "light." His leading lady in the video was his then lover, the neo-soul diva (another fave) Erykah Badu. Although their real life affair ended, this video showcases the intensity of a love that burned for them and maybe for many of us. Another reason I love this video is because there is a strong black man loving a strong black woman without apology. A do-right man and his do-right woman. I also vibe on the fact that he professes his love right from the beginning: "I never knew a love love a love like this..." I know many people don't like hip-hop, but that's because they listen to the testosterone heavy, radio friendly, pseudo hip hop that is packaged for the masses. Common defies traditional expectations of rap music and pours his heart on wax every. single. time.
Watch the video and listen to a Man talk about his Woman and how he feels she should be treated. Have you defined how your partner should treat you? If not, listen and learn. If so, I'm giving you a cyber fist dap!! Enjoy!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Soul Food: "Alone" by Maya Angelou
Maya Angelou is Ev-er-y-thang!! I have loved her offerings, poetic and prosaic, since I read her first autobiography I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I don't know which I prefer, but I do know that I am always hungry for more when I read her words. I was thinking about my close network of friends and family and realized that I am privileged to have such a strong close-knit circle. I am lucky that even when I feel heavy laden with sadness (thank you Donny Hathaway), I have a crew of folks that I can count on to be there for me in my darkest hours without fail. Like the words in the following poem "nobody can make it out here alone." Too often, we box ourselves into a corner by trying to pretend that we have everything under control. But no person is an island; we all could use someone to help us out once in awhile. This poem reminds us that we need others in order to thrive. You don't have to go it alone. The other side of this is that you should try to help someone out in need: be a blessing to someone's life today...
Alone
by Maya Angelou
Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Poem courtesy of http://www.poets.org/ Image courtesy of http://www.gpaulbishop.com
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
From the Soul: I Love My Grandma!!!
I LOVE MY GRANDMA!! Anyone who knows me, knows that me and my grandmother are tighter than pantyhose two sizes small ("Good Times" reference). I have lived with her my entire life that I can remember (until I married and moved out) and she has always been my strongest cheering section. I am 37 years old and I have seen my grandmother almost everyday of my life. God has blessed her to be 83 years old with all of her mental and physical abilities. I live fewer than five drivable minutes away and she comes to visit us everyday.
My children have the benefit of this loving elder who feeds their dreams with peppermints and kind words, who encourages their growth with her laughter and smiles. My grandmother loves my children and my husband as if she gave birth to them; in fact, she loves them like she loves me. My grandmother is our family matriarch, the keeper of our family history and a walking library of the black experience. She is a wonderful testament to the adage that "black don't crack" because she looks about two decades younger than she is. She is a feisty old lady with style, grace, class and poise. In fact, if I grow up to be half the woman that she is--well, let's just say that I will be something to behold.
I LOVE MY GRANDMA and I want everyone to know that she has poured the best of herself into me, a child that wasn't hers, but that she could not have loved more. I am grateful to my grandmother for giving me feathers for my first pair of wings. I am her namesake (the Cornell is from her), her pride and her granddaughter. It is good to be me.
Here are two versions of the Bill Withers' classic, "Grandma's Hands." ENJOY!!
Bill Withers "Grandma's Hands" (The Original Version)
Y'Anna Crawley "Grandma's Hands" (BET Sunday's Best version)
My children have the benefit of this loving elder who feeds their dreams with peppermints and kind words, who encourages their growth with her laughter and smiles. My grandmother loves my children and my husband as if she gave birth to them; in fact, she loves them like she loves me. My grandmother is our family matriarch, the keeper of our family history and a walking library of the black experience. She is a wonderful testament to the adage that "black don't crack" because she looks about two decades younger than she is. She is a feisty old lady with style, grace, class and poise. In fact, if I grow up to be half the woman that she is--well, let's just say that I will be something to behold.
I LOVE MY GRANDMA and I want everyone to know that she has poured the best of herself into me, a child that wasn't hers, but that she could not have loved more. I am grateful to my grandmother for giving me feathers for my first pair of wings. I am her namesake (the Cornell is from her), her pride and her granddaughter. It is good to be me.
Here are two versions of the Bill Withers' classic, "Grandma's Hands." ENJOY!!
Bill Withers "Grandma's Hands" (The Original Version)
Y'Anna Crawley "Grandma's Hands" (BET Sunday's Best version)
Monday, July 5, 2010
From the Soul: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
Let me begin with full disclosure...the saying, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" drives me insane!!! I think that, in theory, it sounds good to tell someone that strength is gained from overcoming your trials. However, I think that it is far too great a stretch of an either/or scenario: either you get stronger OR you die. What about the middle ground? Plenty of things don't make you stronger or kill you, they hurt you or stop you or anger you or cripple you or celebrate you or stifle you or...you get the picture. I believe that it is unfortunate and unfair to suggest that either you're strengthened or you're dead. I don't like the idea that each situation offers only two options; I don't like the notion that emotional strength is only gained from a death defying experience. I believe that many situations offer opportunities for enrichment, good or bad. Instead of operating under the "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" mentality, perhaps it is better to say that "from our most hurtful experiences, come some of our deepest lessons."
Just a thought...
Just a thought...
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Soul Satisfying Music-- "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang
Be safe this holiday weekend. Please no drinking and driving. Enjoy your festivities as we celebrate our country's independence. This song by Kool & the Gang is a bbq favorite and Soul Train line staple...Enjoy!!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Soul Food: Black Male Valedictorian Speaks at High School Graduation
All I can say is that the video speaks for itself. Grab some Kleenex because this is a tearjerker. What a triumphant story he has and what a shining example of young black manhood...
Video courtesy of Bossip.com
Video courtesy of Bossip.com
Soul Satisfying Music--"Say Yes" by Floetry
"There is only one for me
You have made that a possibility
We could take that step to see, ohh
If this is really gonna be
All you gotta do is say yes..."
Happy Friday! As we embark upon this holiday weekend, I'm feeling a little romantic. How often do we think about romance in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives? Seriously, take a poll. So much of what is played on the radio now is a phallic assault on my ears. I can't take one more bare chested man-boy singing about my neighbors knowing his name (Trey Songz--google him if you don't know what I'm talking about). Puh-leaze. He looks like he's in high school. But I digress.
When was the last time you felt like you wanted to say yes? When was the last time you felt amorous and passionate? In this microwave society, we often forget about the art of seduction and the thrill of anticipation. This song by Floetry is so specific without being vulgar and so sensual without being raunchy. This is grown folks music for grown folks' business. Here is a song that is so beautiful because of its subtlety...ooo ahh yess...Enjoy!!
You have made that a possibility
We could take that step to see, ohh
If this is really gonna be
All you gotta do is say yes..."
Happy Friday! As we embark upon this holiday weekend, I'm feeling a little romantic. How often do we think about romance in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives? Seriously, take a poll. So much of what is played on the radio now is a phallic assault on my ears. I can't take one more bare chested man-boy singing about my neighbors knowing his name (Trey Songz--google him if you don't know what I'm talking about). Puh-leaze. He looks like he's in high school. But I digress.
When was the last time you felt like you wanted to say yes? When was the last time you felt amorous and passionate? In this microwave society, we often forget about the art of seduction and the thrill of anticipation. This song by Floetry is so specific without being vulgar and so sensual without being raunchy. This is grown folks music for grown folks' business. Here is a song that is so beautiful because of its subtlety...ooo ahh yess...Enjoy!!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
From the Soul Question: What Is One Thing That You Love About Yourself?
Too often we don't recognize our true beauty--inner and outer. However, each of us has been bestowed with a multitude of gifts (tapped and untapped). As you begin to understand who you are, you must celebrate yourself. Considering the internal and the external you, what is one thing that you love about yourself? Whatever it is, celebrate it and rejoice in your wealth of self-appreciation.
Good Morning Sunshine!!
What a beautiful morning! Every time you can wake to see another day, it is a beautiful morning. When was the last time you greeted the morning like a long lost friend? When was the last time you greeted a new day with joy and happiness? I know we all get down and life can be quite cruel at times, but each day is a blessing on your life and you are a blessing to the world.
Try this: lie in bed a few minutes before you get up. As you lie in bed, inhale and exhale a few times to get rid of last night's residue. Then stretch from your toes to your neck. Feel each movement; relish each stretch. Breathe deeply a few more times--in through your nose and out through your mouth. Relax and listen--to your breathing, your heartbeat, your lover's movements... Soak in the beauty of morning and then get up to greet your day. I can't promise that a good attitude upon waking will make your day go well, but good energy is always good for your soul.
What a beautiful morning...
Try this: lie in bed a few minutes before you get up. As you lie in bed, inhale and exhale a few times to get rid of last night's residue. Then stretch from your toes to your neck. Feel each movement; relish each stretch. Breathe deeply a few more times--in through your nose and out through your mouth. Relax and listen--to your breathing, your heartbeat, your lover's movements... Soak in the beauty of morning and then get up to greet your day. I can't promise that a good attitude upon waking will make your day go well, but good energy is always good for your soul.
What a beautiful morning...
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