On Friday, my husband and I took our three children (19, 14 and 12) to see Bully at the Little Theater. We chose to go see the film on opening night because it was to be followed by a “talk back” after the film. Additionally, our middle-schoolers wanted to see it. Earlier this month, our college age son watched Jamie Nabozny’s Bullied (and saw him speak), so he was also intrigued by the topic. So off we went to see the film…
As we sat in the theater, it became apparent that this wasn’t your garden variety film. Right from the beginning, viewers witnessed the heartbreaking physical, verbal and emotional abuse heaped on the young victims. In fact, I was so disturbed at how one young boy, Alex, was being treated that I got up to leave the theater after only 15 minutes. Luckily, my husband convinced me to stay and finish watching the film. Watching the documentary unfold, I was beyond angry—I was hurt, confused and downright ticked off. It turned my stomach and bothered my spirit that these young folks were being victimized by their peers. What took me over the edge (and the other viewers in attendance) was the response of the school administrators. Well, maybe I should say the lack of response. *insert disgusted look here* I won’t say anymore in order to avoid spoilers, but I will say you should see it and so should your children. The language is not a big enough concern to warrant missing the film.
What I hope parents will do is to sit down with their children and discuss the film. To discuss what happens when children leave home and get on their school buses, enter their classrooms or any space where their parents are not present. We need to stop telling children that “sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.” Words hurt. And sometimes we don’t notice the effects of those words until it is too late. We have to teach our children that picking on someone because of any perceived difference is not right. Period. We can’t excuse malicious behaviors as a rite of passage by saying “boys will be boys” or “you know how girls are.” We are becoming a culture of vultures who misbehave for sport. But it’s not a laughing matter at all. If you encourage or ignore hurtful behaviors or language in your own children—you are wrong! Period.
Listen, childhood is difficult enough without the added threat of physical, emotional or verbal assault. Not many of us were as confident as children that we are as adults (if we are). Some of us may have been bullies and some of us may have been bullied, but we should do all we can to spare our children the same harmful experiences. Talk with your children and set a standard for how they are to behave. Don’t sugarcoat it. We tell our children what our standard of behavior is and what our expectations for their behaviors are. We talk about Facebook, texting and interacting with peers. We let them know that we would never condone it if they were to mistreat someone—period. And we also tell them to let us know if someone is mistreating them. None of the folks in our household have either been bullies or been bullied, but I am happy to report that we all take up for others, we all champion social justice (even the littlest ones) and we each have wonderful manners. No, we aren’t perfect, but we definitely aren’t bullies.
Overall, let’s work together to create a space where children can just BE. Who is to say who is "cool" or not? Who is "pretty" or not? Who is "worthy" or not? We all have a right to just BE. Let's build a world of inclusion where we can develop and grow into our full selves. And it starts today, right here, right now with me and with you... Read our family's views about the film here
As we sat in the theater, it became apparent that this wasn’t your garden variety film. Right from the beginning, viewers witnessed the heartbreaking physical, verbal and emotional abuse heaped on the young victims. In fact, I was so disturbed at how one young boy, Alex, was being treated that I got up to leave the theater after only 15 minutes. Luckily, my husband convinced me to stay and finish watching the film. Watching the documentary unfold, I was beyond angry—I was hurt, confused and downright ticked off. It turned my stomach and bothered my spirit that these young folks were being victimized by their peers. What took me over the edge (and the other viewers in attendance) was the response of the school administrators. Well, maybe I should say the lack of response. *insert disgusted look here* I won’t say anymore in order to avoid spoilers, but I will say you should see it and so should your children. The language is not a big enough concern to warrant missing the film.
What I hope parents will do is to sit down with their children and discuss the film. To discuss what happens when children leave home and get on their school buses, enter their classrooms or any space where their parents are not present. We need to stop telling children that “sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.” Words hurt. And sometimes we don’t notice the effects of those words until it is too late. We have to teach our children that picking on someone because of any perceived difference is not right. Period. We can’t excuse malicious behaviors as a rite of passage by saying “boys will be boys” or “you know how girls are.” We are becoming a culture of vultures who misbehave for sport. But it’s not a laughing matter at all. If you encourage or ignore hurtful behaviors or language in your own children—you are wrong! Period.
Listen, childhood is difficult enough without the added threat of physical, emotional or verbal assault. Not many of us were as confident as children that we are as adults (if we are). Some of us may have been bullies and some of us may have been bullied, but we should do all we can to spare our children the same harmful experiences. Talk with your children and set a standard for how they are to behave. Don’t sugarcoat it. We tell our children what our standard of behavior is and what our expectations for their behaviors are. We talk about Facebook, texting and interacting with peers. We let them know that we would never condone it if they were to mistreat someone—period. And we also tell them to let us know if someone is mistreating them. None of the folks in our household have either been bullies or been bullied, but I am happy to report that we all take up for others, we all champion social justice (even the littlest ones) and we each have wonderful manners. No, we aren’t perfect, but we definitely aren’t bullies.
Overall, let’s work together to create a space where children can just BE. Who is to say who is "cool" or not? Who is "pretty" or not? Who is "worthy" or not? We all have a right to just BE. Let's build a world of inclusion where we can develop and grow into our full selves. And it starts today, right here, right now with me and with you... Read our family's views about the film here
