Happy New Year, Good People!! As we usher in a new year, I just want to want to say that for many of us, the new year offers the promise of a fresh beginning and a chance to start over. However, I want you to take some time to think of all the beautiful things you did last year and will continue to do in the new year. Too often, we look at New Year's Day as a makeover free for all and forget that we might be doing some really good things that need to carry over into the new year. Crazy, right? But it's soooo true. Here's my list of things I'm taking into the new year (in no particular order):
Working out:
I just recently started working out and I like the way it makes me feel. I was going to wait until 1/01/2011, but decided to start early. I'm loving the MJ Experience game for Wii and I could dance to it all night (well, in short bursts until I get my stamina up). I will definitely keep at it because I want to be healthier.
Drinking only tap water and diet beverages
I stopped drinking bottled water in April after being schooled by some very knowledgeable people and I will continue to do so. I need to keep my blood sugar in check, so it's been mostly diet beverages. I like that I'm focused on my health and want to set a good example for my children.
Writing more
I have been writing more since I started blogging!! I love that I get to reach out to so many people via the Web. I have been writing for a book that I want to have published soon. So, I am definitely going to write more next year!
Being a good listener
I like to help people, but one of my greatest strengths is being a good listener. When people come to me for advice or just to vent, they know that they have my full, undivided attention.
Treating others how I want to be treated
This is a big one for me. People always tell me how nice I am and I think it's because I follow the golden rule. It's that simple. I believe in the laws of reciprocity and karma...
So that's my short list. I must say that I really like the person I am. I work very hard on being better and I would like to think that it shows. So, in 2011, I want to continue my journey of enlightenment as I strive to be a better wife, mother, granddaughter, sister, friend, auntie, professor, etc...By no means am I perfect (or even close to it); however, I think it's so easy to point out what we do wrong, I wanted to point out a few things I do well. I pledge to take more time for myself, sleep more and laugh more (even when I get my braces). I want to make sure I surround myself with people I love and who love me. I want to make sure that I listen to my intuition and trust my inner voice.
What do you do well and what are you going to work on? Whatever it is, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
"New Attitude" by Patti LaBelle
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Resolutions: When People Show You Who They Are...
As the New Year approaches, I am revisiting some areas of my life that need revamping. I want to take stock of where I am and where I want to be. Considering this, I want to look at how I can still be a helpful, nurturing person without sacrificing my own self-hood. I want deal with people in ways that are mutually beneficial. All my life, I have been a nurturer. I have been the one people run to when they have needed advice, needed to be fed, needed someone to listen, needed someone to care, needed someone to make them laugh, heck, any time they needed someone to (fill in the blank). And quite honestly, I have mostly enjoyed helping people. Even when I'm tired, I get satisfaction from filling someone's cup. I like the fact that folks can count on me. As a result of my actions, I have found that most people think I'm nice, well, probably more than nice and that's okay with me. *Insert smile*
However, I do realize that there is a downside to being a nurturer--you tend to always look for the best in people. And no matter how many other folks see people as selfish, low down, no count, ungrateful or whatever, I try to see the best in them. Even when they prove themselves to be selfish, low down, no count, ungrateful or whatever. Now, I am no one's fool, but I do have a soft heart. So this year, I'm gonna do better about seeing people as they are and not how I want them to be. Because sometimes, when people show you who they are, you have to believe them. Sad to say, but sometimes, people are just who they have shown you and everyone else they are. And despite anyone's best intentions, they will continue to do what they will do and be how they will be.
This might not seem like a big revelation to some people out there, but to me: it's monumental. See, I nurture folks because I want to see them do better, have better, know better, etc. I want them to know that someone in this world is here for them. But now I'm starting to understand that some people can't be helped. That whenever you show them up, they wanna look down. You show them joy and all they see is pain. You show them love and...well, you get broken. True story.
If I could heal the world, I would. I don't mean in a superficial way where I get all the credit for being a great benefactor, a wonderful donor, an empathetic humanitarian--nope, I would do it how I do it now--on the low. See I want the best for people and sometimes, I have to understand that some things are better left broken and some people are better left alone. *insert sad face.* Maybe someone who is reading this is thinking, well, it's not about you, it's about them. If you are really helping people, then you shouldn't care how they respond. Just help. And I will tell you that that's how I've been operating...help, help, help...but you know what? I'm tired. Because I'm nurturing people not sheep. And even though I understand that people only do what they can do, I have to understand this for myself as well--I can only do what I can do.
I've always been that child who wished on stars, prayed to God, hoped against hope and believed that people will do better, be better, want better. I won't ever lose that part of myself. However, what I do know is that my desire for something doesn't make it true. Because I want the best for someone or many someones, doesn't mean it will be because maybe, just maybe this is who and how they are. And no matter how many wishes I make, this is the only way they know how to be. See, when people show you who they are, you have to believe them.
For the New Year, my resolution related to this is that I will continue to work to be a blessing in the lives of others. When I give, I will continue to do so with an open heart and a willing spirit. I will make sure that my actions match my thoughts. And (this may be most important), when someone shows me who he or she is, I will deal with them accordingly. No harm, no foul. I will protect myself and my heart and I will believe them when they show me the how and the what of the who they really are. Fareal fareal.
Peace.
"I Keep" by Jill Scott
However, I do realize that there is a downside to being a nurturer--you tend to always look for the best in people. And no matter how many other folks see people as selfish, low down, no count, ungrateful or whatever, I try to see the best in them. Even when they prove themselves to be selfish, low down, no count, ungrateful or whatever. Now, I am no one's fool, but I do have a soft heart. So this year, I'm gonna do better about seeing people as they are and not how I want them to be. Because sometimes, when people show you who they are, you have to believe them. Sad to say, but sometimes, people are just who they have shown you and everyone else they are. And despite anyone's best intentions, they will continue to do what they will do and be how they will be.
This might not seem like a big revelation to some people out there, but to me: it's monumental. See, I nurture folks because I want to see them do better, have better, know better, etc. I want them to know that someone in this world is here for them. But now I'm starting to understand that some people can't be helped. That whenever you show them up, they wanna look down. You show them joy and all they see is pain. You show them love and...well, you get broken. True story.
If I could heal the world, I would. I don't mean in a superficial way where I get all the credit for being a great benefactor, a wonderful donor, an empathetic humanitarian--nope, I would do it how I do it now--on the low. See I want the best for people and sometimes, I have to understand that some things are better left broken and some people are better left alone. *insert sad face.* Maybe someone who is reading this is thinking, well, it's not about you, it's about them. If you are really helping people, then you shouldn't care how they respond. Just help. And I will tell you that that's how I've been operating...help, help, help...but you know what? I'm tired. Because I'm nurturing people not sheep. And even though I understand that people only do what they can do, I have to understand this for myself as well--I can only do what I can do.
I've always been that child who wished on stars, prayed to God, hoped against hope and believed that people will do better, be better, want better. I won't ever lose that part of myself. However, what I do know is that my desire for something doesn't make it true. Because I want the best for someone or many someones, doesn't mean it will be because maybe, just maybe this is who and how they are. And no matter how many wishes I make, this is the only way they know how to be. See, when people show you who they are, you have to believe them.
For the New Year, my resolution related to this is that I will continue to work to be a blessing in the lives of others. When I give, I will continue to do so with an open heart and a willing spirit. I will make sure that my actions match my thoughts. And (this may be most important), when someone shows me who he or she is, I will deal with them accordingly. No harm, no foul. I will protect myself and my heart and I will believe them when they show me the how and the what of the who they really are. Fareal fareal.
Peace.
"I Keep" by Jill Scott
Friday, December 24, 2010
Hang All the Mistletoe
I am blessed to come from a family who celebrates every.single.holiday. My grandmother always made sure that we had a good time whether it was a family barbeque for the Fourth of July (her birthday) to a turkey and dressing filled Thanksgiving. We ate, laughed and had a good ole time. Christmas was particularly festive: we had stockings, decorations, a beautiful tree and a blow up Santa and all the reindeer (my grandma was and still is da' queen of holiday decorating). Our house was the spot and yup, we ate, laughed and had a good ole time.
And you know what? We still do!! Despite all of our stuff, we still hang out together for all the holidays. It's never about the gifts, it's always been about the family. I love my family, with every fiber of my being, with everything I have. I love the spirit of the season and I am blessed to be surrounded by people I love and who love me back. From my family to yours, Happy Holidays!! And to get the party started, here are a few of my must have Christmas tunes:
"Every Year Every Christmas" by Luther Vandross
"My Favorite Things" by The Supremes
"Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto" by James Brown
"Silent Night" by The Temptations
"This Christmas" by Donny Hathaway
"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by The Jackson Five
"Please Come Home For Christmas" by Charles Brown
And you know what? We still do!! Despite all of our stuff, we still hang out together for all the holidays. It's never about the gifts, it's always been about the family. I love my family, with every fiber of my being, with everything I have. I love the spirit of the season and I am blessed to be surrounded by people I love and who love me back. From my family to yours, Happy Holidays!! And to get the party started, here are a few of my must have Christmas tunes:
"Every Year Every Christmas" by Luther Vandross
"My Favorite Things" by The Supremes
"Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto" by James Brown
"Silent Night" by The Temptations
"This Christmas" by Donny Hathaway
"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by The Jackson Five
"Please Come Home For Christmas" by Charles Brown
Thursday, December 16, 2010
We Fall Down, But...Um...Get Yo'self Up
Some of us get dealt a rough hand in life. No silver spoons, no doting parents, no easy way to go...plain and simple: it's a hard knock life (in my Annie voice). Some people go through more sadness than a Lifetime movie marathon, but...they survive. And not only do they survive, some even thrive!! *Insert hand claps and fist pumps.*
Have you ever looked at someone you know has had a rocky road and wonder how he or she made it through the storm? Maybe you are that person. Maybe your friends look at your resiliency and admire your ability to bounce back from whatever is thrown your way. Considering this, have you ever questioned why some of us are able to land on our feet no matter how many curve balls life throws? I have. I often wonder what separates the people who are able to overcome life's obstacles from those who collapse at the first sign of conflict. You know them, the people who can't sustain and have limited coping skills? I'm not knocking anyone for having down moments or feeling sorry for yourself...I'm talking about the people who stay down. They're not my kind.
I come from a crew of thrivers. Folks who have been baptized by fire. Folks who hit the ground running whenever, however, wherever. I was raised by people who created the "S" that New Age Superwomen wear on our chests. Women who spoke truth to power and polished the steel in their spines by the light of the moon. I love resilient people. I love people who are able to trump downfalls, shortfalls, pitfalls, heck even Niagara Falls. I love the folks who dust themselves off and make it do what it do, baby (channeling Ray Charles).
The next time you find yourself down in the dumps, broke down and feeling as if you are coming undone, I want you to GET UP!! That's right!! Get up and proclaim that you are going to get over this hurdle and step into your new life. The life that you desire. See you only get one life--this isn't a dress rehearsal. You have to make sure that you harness your power to live out your best life. Inside of you is a thriver, someone who makes lemonade out of misery and magic out of dust. Inside of you is your strength. Be sure to tap into it!!
Erykah Badu "My Life"
Have you ever looked at someone you know has had a rocky road and wonder how he or she made it through the storm? Maybe you are that person. Maybe your friends look at your resiliency and admire your ability to bounce back from whatever is thrown your way. Considering this, have you ever questioned why some of us are able to land on our feet no matter how many curve balls life throws? I have. I often wonder what separates the people who are able to overcome life's obstacles from those who collapse at the first sign of conflict. You know them, the people who can't sustain and have limited coping skills? I'm not knocking anyone for having down moments or feeling sorry for yourself...I'm talking about the people who stay down. They're not my kind.
I come from a crew of thrivers. Folks who have been baptized by fire. Folks who hit the ground running whenever, however, wherever. I was raised by people who created the "S" that New Age Superwomen wear on our chests. Women who spoke truth to power and polished the steel in their spines by the light of the moon. I love resilient people. I love people who are able to trump downfalls, shortfalls, pitfalls, heck even Niagara Falls. I love the folks who dust themselves off and make it do what it do, baby (channeling Ray Charles).
The next time you find yourself down in the dumps, broke down and feeling as if you are coming undone, I want you to GET UP!! That's right!! Get up and proclaim that you are going to get over this hurdle and step into your new life. The life that you desire. See you only get one life--this isn't a dress rehearsal. You have to make sure that you harness your power to live out your best life. Inside of you is a thriver, someone who makes lemonade out of misery and magic out of dust. Inside of you is your strength. Be sure to tap into it!!
Erykah Badu "My Life"
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Getting to Happy...
Ok, so the title of this post invokes Terry McMillian's latest work and that's intended. Recently, I facilitated a book talk that centered around this novel. One of the things that the attendees and I spoke to was the sadness in each of the female characters' lives. We knew the title stated getting to happy, but the consensus was that the journey didn't have to be that hard or that long (no spoilers). Annnnddd, it didn't seem as if anyone was truly happy at the end (oops--slight spoiler). So that got me to thinking--what is happiness? How do you truly measure something that is so indescribable, yet so palpable? I see many people walking around and living their lives, searching for satisfaction, but falling short.
How many of us know someone who, no matter what they have, still never seems satisfied? I don't mean the "go-gettas" who are the movers and shakers always aspiring to get the next big break. Who I am speaking about are the folks who are abundantly blessed but seem to be cursed with the Eeyore gene. No matter how good life is, they only see the hardships or the struggle or the pain or the...(insert any sad noun). Now I am not suggesting that one should run around like Pollyanna and be super de-duper happy about ev.er.y.thing. What I am suggesting is that we try to tap into the things that give us pleasure.
Full disclosure: I have been through some thangs in my life (insert violins and tears)--for real. I have experienced enough sadness to bring down a small town, enough disappointments to cripple a tiny village. But guess what? As many times as I have seen heartbreak, I have experienced joy tenfold. As much as I have seen darkness, I have taken comfort in the sun ten times over. See, because I understand that in each life a little rain must fall (old school R&B reference) and I understand that I don't deserve to have it any easier than the next person. I might sound crazy, but I promise you that I am so serious. See, I want to have it easy, to skip through life with no pain or sorrow. But really I don't. Because the truth is: the woman I am is mostly defined by my scabs and scars. I'm not suggesting that we should ask for hard times, but I am suggesting that we make peace with the knowledge that we all will go through some stuff. And how we handle that stuff, shows who we truly are.
In those moments of hardship, we get to develop our character, our compassion and our humanity. We get to sift through the muck of life and pick out the things that truly benefit us, enrich us or sustain us. As we move towards happy, we have to embrace the journey, as beautiful and as broken as it may be. We have to understand that it's the getting to that truly defines the "happy." I'm happy, are you?
Earth, Wind and Fire "Keep Your Head to the Sky"
How many of us know someone who, no matter what they have, still never seems satisfied? I don't mean the "go-gettas" who are the movers and shakers always aspiring to get the next big break. Who I am speaking about are the folks who are abundantly blessed but seem to be cursed with the Eeyore gene. No matter how good life is, they only see the hardships or the struggle or the pain or the...(insert any sad noun). Now I am not suggesting that one should run around like Pollyanna and be super de-duper happy about ev.er.y.thing. What I am suggesting is that we try to tap into the things that give us pleasure.
Full disclosure: I have been through some thangs in my life (insert violins and tears)--for real. I have experienced enough sadness to bring down a small town, enough disappointments to cripple a tiny village. But guess what? As many times as I have seen heartbreak, I have experienced joy tenfold. As much as I have seen darkness, I have taken comfort in the sun ten times over. See, because I understand that in each life a little rain must fall (old school R&B reference) and I understand that I don't deserve to have it any easier than the next person. I might sound crazy, but I promise you that I am so serious. See, I want to have it easy, to skip through life with no pain or sorrow. But really I don't. Because the truth is: the woman I am is mostly defined by my scabs and scars. I'm not suggesting that we should ask for hard times, but I am suggesting that we make peace with the knowledge that we all will go through some stuff. And how we handle that stuff, shows who we truly are.
In those moments of hardship, we get to develop our character, our compassion and our humanity. We get to sift through the muck of life and pick out the things that truly benefit us, enrich us or sustain us. As we move towards happy, we have to embrace the journey, as beautiful and as broken as it may be. We have to understand that it's the getting to that truly defines the "happy." I'm happy, are you?
Earth, Wind and Fire "Keep Your Head to the Sky"
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