It's been awhile since I've done a Friday Flirt, so I wanted to get back to the basics and talk about love...good love. In many of our lives, we have battle scars from love gone bad. Tales of "he did me wrong" or "she was a mistake" pepper our conversations at every turn. We hear stories of love gone right and may shake our heads with a disbelieving, "yeah, whatever." Through our own experiences, we may have become bitter and skeptical about whether true love exists. Somewhere, though, in the recesses of our hearts, a memory still lingers of a time when we believed...
Let me try to restore your faith: love is real. Let me say it again: love is real. I know lots of couples who are living their lives full of love and joy. Couples who deal with the complexities of every day living and still manage to give and receive good love. Notice I said, give and receive. At the heart of any good love experience is reciprocity. If I give my all, then you must give your all. Good love, indeed.
How many of us who are in relationships, take the time to make space for our lovers? I don't mean in a way that suffocates who and how you are. I mean in a way that is mutually satisfying. Do you support your lover's interests? Are you invested in his/her dreams? Do you take the time to check in with your lover to make sure that he/she is feeling protected, encouraged, cherished, etc...? Do you? Because that's how you cultivate good love. Think about it: when you are growing your garden, you must nourish your potential crops with plenty of water and sunshine. You have to put in a consistent amount of work to get the desired result. And if you want to reap the benefits of your hard work, you pay attention to any negative change and adjust your actions accordingly. And that is what you must do if you want good love. You pay attention to your lover and feed your relationship properly. If things start to go awry, you check them out and fix what you can--if you want the desired results.
Too many of us may lose sight of the fact that there are two people in a relationship. We let external forces create chaos in our coupledom. I don't mean when you are in a messed up situation and your people try to save you from yourself (y'all know how that can be). No, I'm talking about two people who are living and loving and making mistakes along the way as they navigate the course of their relationship. Unfortunately, things that can be handled between them, may get inflated when outside folks add their opinions. Once you shake and stir what other folks add, you might end up with a mess. Fareal. However, good love requires that two people who are fully invested in the pursuit of mutual togetherness remember that they have to protect their union. Together.
Many of you may be wondering what does good love look like? I believe that good love is consistent. For me, that is an important element. I don't want you acting sometime-y and moody when it comes to matters of the heart. Even in the midst of conflict, I need to know that your love for me is still present. I believe that good love is honest, period. None of that wishy-washy hemming and hawing. Tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. Period. There also needs to be respect. Good old fashioned R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Good love should be strong, palpable. I want to feel it to my marrow. I don't want to guess or read some hidden clues that you love me. Fareal. There should be communication: physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual. Ultimately, I want you to love me like I love you. To give 100% in all ways, always. It's simply not negotiable.
I know what good love feels like because I am in a relationship that satisfies me to the core of my being. When I speak of my lover, you hear the chimes of our wedding bells. Even in our disconnections, we are still connected in myriad ways that serve to balance out our bond. For those of you who seek good love, I wish that you can experience it without fear. I wish that you can have your heart stimulated by good love that awakens a desire so strong it makes your knees buckle. I wish you kisses by the light of the moon and whispered love talk that makes you blush at the memory. I wish you love so good that you wear it like a badge of honor. I wish you love, love, everlasting love that fills all your empty places and gives you wings. I wish you a love so good, that it's good...Peace.
"Body and Soul" by Anita Baker (and yes, I know she has a song called, "Good Love")
Let me try to restore your faith: love is real. Let me say it again: love is real. I know lots of couples who are living their lives full of love and joy. Couples who deal with the complexities of every day living and still manage to give and receive good love. Notice I said, give and receive. At the heart of any good love experience is reciprocity. If I give my all, then you must give your all. Good love, indeed.
How many of us who are in relationships, take the time to make space for our lovers? I don't mean in a way that suffocates who and how you are. I mean in a way that is mutually satisfying. Do you support your lover's interests? Are you invested in his/her dreams? Do you take the time to check in with your lover to make sure that he/she is feeling protected, encouraged, cherished, etc...? Do you? Because that's how you cultivate good love. Think about it: when you are growing your garden, you must nourish your potential crops with plenty of water and sunshine. You have to put in a consistent amount of work to get the desired result. And if you want to reap the benefits of your hard work, you pay attention to any negative change and adjust your actions accordingly. And that is what you must do if you want good love. You pay attention to your lover and feed your relationship properly. If things start to go awry, you check them out and fix what you can--if you want the desired results.
Too many of us may lose sight of the fact that there are two people in a relationship. We let external forces create chaos in our coupledom. I don't mean when you are in a messed up situation and your people try to save you from yourself (y'all know how that can be). No, I'm talking about two people who are living and loving and making mistakes along the way as they navigate the course of their relationship. Unfortunately, things that can be handled between them, may get inflated when outside folks add their opinions. Once you shake and stir what other folks add, you might end up with a mess. Fareal. However, good love requires that two people who are fully invested in the pursuit of mutual togetherness remember that they have to protect their union. Together.
Many of you may be wondering what does good love look like? I believe that good love is consistent. For me, that is an important element. I don't want you acting sometime-y and moody when it comes to matters of the heart. Even in the midst of conflict, I need to know that your love for me is still present. I believe that good love is honest, period. None of that wishy-washy hemming and hawing. Tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. Period. There also needs to be respect. Good old fashioned R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Good love should be strong, palpable. I want to feel it to my marrow. I don't want to guess or read some hidden clues that you love me. Fareal. There should be communication: physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual. Ultimately, I want you to love me like I love you. To give 100% in all ways, always. It's simply not negotiable.
I know what good love feels like because I am in a relationship that satisfies me to the core of my being. When I speak of my lover, you hear the chimes of our wedding bells. Even in our disconnections, we are still connected in myriad ways that serve to balance out our bond. For those of you who seek good love, I wish that you can experience it without fear. I wish that you can have your heart stimulated by good love that awakens a desire so strong it makes your knees buckle. I wish you kisses by the light of the moon and whispered love talk that makes you blush at the memory. I wish you love so good that you wear it like a badge of honor. I wish you love, love, everlasting love that fills all your empty places and gives you wings. I wish you a love so good, that it's good...Peace.
"Body and Soul" by Anita Baker (and yes, I know she has a song called, "Good Love")
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