Throwing Words Like Stones

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

How many of us have used this phrase and been so certain that we were making a good point? How many of us used this as our personal motto in order to move through the aftermath of someone else's verbal venom? I have. I didn't understand that this statement is sooo incorrect and has no true value in terms of making one feel better. You know why? Because words do hurt. I know that the intention of this oft uttered phrase is to give one strength, a layer of armor. However, it doesn't fully address the hurt that's left after someone says something that's downright disturbing. You know why? Because words do hurt.

Sticks and stones do break bones, but words can break hearts. I know that you can kill someone with a well aimed stick or stone, but guess what? A well aimed verbal assault can kill someone's spirit, destroy his/her soul. You know why? BECAUSE WORDS DO HURT. Words have value, important value in fact. It's the reason why you yell, "FIRE!!!" when your house is in flames, rather than yelling, "YOGURT!!" It's why you say, "I love you" and not, "I bungle you."

Too often, we speak without thinking, and cast words like stones. We fire words like weapons. We condemn, spite, demean, degrade, denigrate and...we destroy. And the sad part is, we don't always recognize it. We say it's who we are, we didn't mean it, I'm sorry, but...You know what, though? Words hurt and we need to be mindful of how we use them.

The next time you feel yourself about to deliver a verbal beat down, give a scathing commentary or make a disparaging remark, take a moment to reflect on your relationship with the person you are speaking to. If it's someone you love, like, care about, may need in the future, may cross professional paths with, etc., take a second to gather yourself before you speak. Because although you may feel like you have to get it off your chest, you may not get the results you intended. Because words hurt and people remember and they may not forgive you when you try to use your words to apologize.

Maya Angelou says, “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning.” When you have the opportunity to speak your words, use them to empower, to encourage, to enlighten because at the end of the day, words have power. Use yours wisely.


India Arie "Talk to Her"