Too often, women feel as if they have to ascribe to an unrealistic standard of beauty that is one size fits all. The idea that a woman's beauty only fits into one mold is one that I find insulting and at the same time, laughable. What boggles my mind even more is why we have allowed men to dictate the ins and outs of a woman's beauty. Puh-leaze. Let them focus on their own physical images and leave ours alone (singing "I am woman, hear me roar").
Why do women let men define our standards of beauty? And since we allow men to determine the baseline for what is attractive, why are we surprised that the so-called ideal image involves a Barbie prototype that doesn't even exist in real life? I mean it's ludicrous. As women, we agonize over every gray hair in our scalps, chins and nether regions. We stress over crows' feet and smile lines. Meanwhile, men start to bald and/or go gray and they're led to believe that they look distinguished. Crows' feet somehow allegedly make them look wiser. But women? Um, er, well...let's just say that there are aisles and aisles of wrinkle removers, age spot fade creams, hair dyes and the like waiting...
And our bodies? Well, some of us inject botox or get silicone implants in our breasts and our buttocks to give an image of sexiness that we feel can't be achieved naturally. Now, I'm all for women doing whatever they want in order to make themselves happy, but only if it's for oneself. Seeking external validation beyond a compliment (we all like flattery), is not the way to go for true self-fulfillment. I mean I love makeup and I've been known to wear foundation garments daily. However, if my husband insisted on either...Well I would be bare faced in a hot minute AND everything that's being held up and in, would have free rein to expand or scrape the ground or... (sorry for the visuals, but I have a point to make).
I'm not suggesting that women shouldn't take care of ourselves or try to look our best (whatever we define it as individually). What I am stating, emphatically, is that we should be who we feel we need to be. No person has the right to tell us how our bodies are supposed to be shaped or should look. We cannot continue to allow external elements to extinguish our voices about our physical landscapes. If you act of your own accord,then by all means, pluck it, fill it, shape it, dye it, wax it, nip it, tuck it, extract it, minimize it, control it, lift it, etc...as long as it's YOU who is defining it.
"Video" by India Arie
Sunday, October 17, 2010
2 comments:
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This song is just what we as women need to help encourage us to be us, and who we are, not who a man says we should be. This goes along with "Killing Us Softly 4". More women should take heed to messages in these types of positive songs and documentaries that talks about us being comfortable in what we have been blessed with.
ReplyDeleteLisa Jones
Sometimes I wonder if we woman are more at fault than men in what is defined as beauty. I asm constantly amazed at what we do to ourselves in the quest for beauty. Many men do not find the excessiveness of the hair, nails, makeup, etc attractive. But then what about the young woman in our lives that are pushing the envelope? Are we taking them to the side, and pointing out their natural beauty in the right way? I think that most girls are going to have growing pains, and doubts, and "am I pretty". Whats hopeful is that they will grow out of it, and into their GROWN WOMAN self. We have to appreciate and love ourselves first, thats for sure.
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