Making Connections: Being Reunited Does Feel Good

Remember all of the friends that you made throughout your life? The ones you were born with because your family knew their families? Do you remember the ones you met in elementary school and laughed with during recess? You remember your secondary school friends? The ones you coordinated outfits with, confided in about your first love? The ones you shared all of your teenage angst, passion and joy with? Do you remember the friends you made in college? You studied together, pledged together, hung out together and made plans to be connected all your lives because you were going to take over the world together. What about your friends you met in church, summer camp or some other activity? Your work friends that you had at a previous job? What about the friends you made when your children were small? And your kids played with their kids? Remember that you had memories upon memories of the good times that you shared with these people? Remember, you would talk to these folks all.of.the.time? (Pause for a quick walk down memory lane).

It seemed that wherever you went, you met people who shared with you, who laughed with you and who were an important part of the landscape of your life. The very fabric of your life was woven together by your interactions with these special folks. You knew they looked out for you and had your back no matter what and you did the same in return. They made each moment in their presence that much better. These were the people that you felt connected in a myriad of ways with. Remember how we all thought that everyone we ever loved would be in our lives forever? Remember? Despite our best efforts, life happened and we didn't keep in touch. We moved away, we changed schools, mindsets and availability. And people who were once very important to us, somehow became memories--faded, tucked away in the recesses of our hearts and minds. Do you remember?

As I get older I find that, while I love to meet new people, I really I love the company of folks who were a part of my early years. The years when I fumbled in my quest for identity, voice and position. I find that I really need the people who loved me and poured into me. I find that I also need to make connections with people who were significant to me in different times in my life because I need those connections to help push me to the next level of my life. For real. I know that everyone didn't have beautiful people in their lives as they were growing up, but I did. And for some reason as I get older, I want to reach out to those people. I want to reconnect and become plugged back into to their worlds. I want to be a part of their lives and I want them to share my life with me. I feel like I need it--does that make any sense? There is something inexplicable that is stirring in my soul that is pulling me back to days past. Like an archeologist, I dig for the people who I believe will be important to my future.

Recently, I have been able to connect to some great childhood friends I hadn't seen in about 25 years. We reunited through Facebook. Online, we serve as each others' cheerleaders providing encouragement and cyber love often. We became a little sorority, a modern day Three Musketeers. The funny thing is, is that I knew them from different places, but they went to school together. Our connection was like a Venn diagram, but we overlapped in all the right places: we formed a new sisterhood. In fact, I saw both of them recently when they came to our hometown for visits. And you know what? It was like no time at all passed by. We laughed, talked, danced, laughed some more, reminisced and it felt just.right. Good times were had by us all.

I also reconnected with an old work friend online. We were so close at one point, but it was the same old story: our lives changed and we lost touch. I would see her once in awhile and we would promise to get together, but it never happened. Through Facebook, we got to know each other again and realized that we needed each other still. And so we hung out in person and once again, I found that we fell right back to our usual patterns. We laughed and continued a conversation we began about 10 years ago, like we never lost touch at all. It feels good to be back in each others' lives. For real.

Late last year, I also reconnected with my high school bff in person. We hadn't seen each other in 15 years, but we remained connected via phone. And along came FB...we saw each other all the time online and I realized how much I missed her goofy face. And so we drove 10 hours to see her and when I saw her, it felt like no time had passed. Our families clicked and we laughed and laughed and...well, it was just perfect. I didn't realize how much I had missed her until I was driving home...and then the tears came. Tears of joy, tears of absence, tears of reconnection, just tears, tears, tears. And I vowed never to let that much time pass again without actually seeing my loved ones.

And recently, I reunited with a childhood cousin from my grandfather's side of the family. I spent long hours at her mother's house with her mom, aunts, uncles and my grandparents. I hadn't seen her in a very long time and didn't recognize her for the semester she was my student (crazy, right?), but from the day we met, we had a connection we couldn't identify. It was just strong. And then one day just last week, we became FB friends and realized through a set of circumstances that we were actually family!!!! What a blessing and a true gift. I had just written about my grandfather and it felt so good to be connected to his family again. And best of all, we even reunited her mother and my grandmother who are both in their 80's!!!! It doesn't get any better than that. *tears*

Listen, I'm not saying that everyone you used to know is someone you need to know. I'm just saying that sometimes we get so bogged down by life and we lose contact (through no fault of our own) with people who have been integral to our development. Technology can sometimes get in the way of real human contact, but in my case, technology was the bridge to human contact. Hurray for FB because without it, I would never have been able to reconnect with so many of the good folks in my life. I have found other former classmates, work friends and family online; it is truly remarkable and nourishes my spirit. I encourage you to try to reestablish severed ties and make your way back to the people who remember you "when". I know that my life has been enriched in indescribable ways by these reignited connections. With each reunion, I am able to give and receive love and we all could use a bit more of that. Here's wishing you find your way back to the relationships that fed your soul and that you blossom from the love you receive. Peace.

"Love Train" by the (Mighty, Mighty) O'Jays