I’m not gonna cry!! Listen, this day is all about celebration. It’s about me, myself and I. Like Virginia Slims, I have come a lonnnnnng way, baby. I don’t know if I came into this world kicking and screaming, but I know that I was definitely born to fight. I am battle ready, but you know what? I’m also love ready. As much as I am able to git.up.in.yo.stuff, I prefer the gentle treatment. I’m mostly smiles and gentle words because life is hard enough. Why do I need to make it any harder with donkey antics? I pride myself on my manners and hope that I will be able to maintain my grace for at least the next 38 years.
In these 38 years, I have seen some of the darkest spaces in human nature, but I prefer to focus on the beauty that surrounds me. Too often we allow ourselves to become burdened by the many unfair things that happened to us as children. I have decided that I am not responsible for the things I could not control and so I forgive those who have added to the pain in my past. Truly. It wasn’t easy or quick, but it was worth the work and wait. I promise you that for the first time in a long time, I am living my life like it’s golden (or I’m golden—take your pick).
I believe that I have been a walking paradox my whole life. I am the unwanted, chosen child. I am the fretful free spirit. I am the first born who was raised in a house as the youngest member. I am a child at heart with an old soul. I am all that I never thought I could be, but believed I was supposed to be. Funny, isn’t it?? At times, I played myself small because I didn’t see myself in my fully recognized form. I shrunk into dark spaces, so that my shine wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes. I didn’t believe I could fly because no one around me seemed to be able to. Folks were maintaining; who had time for dreaming? I was so full of myself that I could have burst, but I couldn't find my voice. I was never afraid of failure, but absolutely terrified of success. Funny isn’t it?? But maybe, it’s just a little bit sad.
It’s my birthday, but I'll be damned if I cry because for 38 years I have triumphed over adversity, both large and small. I have tangoed with demons—some, my own and the others, well…let’s just say they weren’t mine. But you know what? I have laughed in the rain and been kissed by the moon. In my time, I have held Heaven in my hands, played in the stars, sang with the trees. I have double-dutched under rainbows and danced on the sun. I have survived, I have thrived and I have arrived. In my 38 years.
In my 38 years, I have amassed a treasure trove of blessings. I have beautiful children, a wonderful husband, a supportive grandma, great friends and a loving family. I have a ready mind and a fighting spirit. I have most of my health and all of my worth. I have a quick wit and a hearty laugh. I have a fantastic job and a defined purpose. I have a gift of discernment and the freedom of speech. I have my ups, my downs, my tragedy and my triumph. I have a clear vision and focused action. I have a wealth of talent and a rich existence. I have a steel spine and a soft heart. I have compassion and passion. I have common sense and book smarts. I have life, truth and love. I have options. I have freedom and boundaries and you know what? I have me, myself and I (that’s 38 things, in case you were wondering).
Today is my day. Today is a day to celebrate who and how I am. This is a day for gratitude and reflection. I want to thank my grandmother for pouring love into me and helping me get to this point in my life. She has always believed in me and loved me, even when I didn’t always love myself. She stood in the gaps that my parents’ absences left. For this, I am grateful. And so as I usher in my 38th birthday, I want to thank her from the very depths of my soul. Because even though she didn’t push me into this world; she’s helped me navigate around this world--pushing me along the way. So Happy Birthday to me, but I owe my chance at a happy life to her. And today, (in the words of India Arie) “I’m celebrating the woman I’ve become." Peace.
India Arie "Private Party"
Showing posts with label India Arie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label India Arie. Show all posts
Friday, May 20, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Easy Like...Well, Like Sunday Morning...
This morning, I had the best time waking up in my husband's arms. I rolled over into his warmth and felt his chest hairs tickle my nose. I snuggled in closer and sighed. Hello, Sunday morning...I listened and outside of our door, I heard little activity; our children were lounging, as well. Each had snuggled into a cocoon of sheets and covers. All was quiet and settled. Even our house seemed as if it had paused to enjoy the morning's stillness. The effect was calming.
Birds were chirping, but their music was muted this morning. It was a soundtrack to the day, embedded into the fiber of every movement. Each breath I took felt cleansing as if I was ridding my spirit of the toxins of the past week. Ahhh...Sunday morning. I listened to the rhythm of my husband's heartbeat and its music intertwined with the music of the birds and the movement of the clouds. With each lu-dup of his heart, I was eased into the serenity of the moment. I felt his breath tickle my ear and the birds were chirping and his heart was beating and my heart was beating and the birds were chirping and...ahhh...Sunday morning. The sun peaked in, a cloud passed by, a still wind blew and all felt right in the world. In this space, in this moment, I felt as if everything was on slow motion and I was so grateful.
Too often, in our ever busy existences, we run over the roses and don't take the time to stop and smell them. We are scheduled, I mean overscheduled to within an inch of our lives. We have so much to do and far too little time. Every hour, every minute, every second seems to belong to someone or something else and then...here comes Sunday... ahhh... A cup of tea, a folded newspaper, a morning hymn, a gentle breeze, a warm touch, a stolen glance...a Sunday morning exhale...ahhh.
Sunday morning can set the barometer for how your week will go. It can be a lazy time in bed or a rousing morning spent in a house of worship. Sunday mornings offer the promise of what the next six days of the week can be like. Sunday is not really the weekend; it is the week beginning. It is a time to plan the activity and set the tone of the upcoming days. To make your mental checks and balances about what to do as you move into the hectic activity of the work week. Some people toil on Sundays and use another day as their "Sunday." But I must admit, there is something spectacular about being in sync with the calendars of most of the people around me. I can count on our collective sighs as I languish in the solitude of Sunday...Ahhh...
Nature by India Arie
Birds were chirping, but their music was muted this morning. It was a soundtrack to the day, embedded into the fiber of every movement. Each breath I took felt cleansing as if I was ridding my spirit of the toxins of the past week. Ahhh...Sunday morning. I listened to the rhythm of my husband's heartbeat and its music intertwined with the music of the birds and the movement of the clouds. With each lu-dup of his heart, I was eased into the serenity of the moment. I felt his breath tickle my ear and the birds were chirping and his heart was beating and my heart was beating and the birds were chirping and...ahhh...Sunday morning. The sun peaked in, a cloud passed by, a still wind blew and all felt right in the world. In this space, in this moment, I felt as if everything was on slow motion and I was so grateful.
Too often, in our ever busy existences, we run over the roses and don't take the time to stop and smell them. We are scheduled, I mean overscheduled to within an inch of our lives. We have so much to do and far too little time. Every hour, every minute, every second seems to belong to someone or something else and then...here comes Sunday... ahhh... A cup of tea, a folded newspaper, a morning hymn, a gentle breeze, a warm touch, a stolen glance...a Sunday morning exhale...ahhh.
Sunday morning can set the barometer for how your week will go. It can be a lazy time in bed or a rousing morning spent in a house of worship. Sunday mornings offer the promise of what the next six days of the week can be like. Sunday is not really the weekend; it is the week beginning. It is a time to plan the activity and set the tone of the upcoming days. To make your mental checks and balances about what to do as you move into the hectic activity of the work week. Some people toil on Sundays and use another day as their "Sunday." But I must admit, there is something spectacular about being in sync with the calendars of most of the people around me. I can count on our collective sighs as I languish in the solitude of Sunday...Ahhh...
Nature by India Arie
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Body Love
Too often, women feel as if they have to ascribe to an unrealistic standard of beauty that is one size fits all. The idea that a woman's beauty only fits into one mold is one that I find insulting and at the same time, laughable. What boggles my mind even more is why we have allowed men to dictate the ins and outs of a woman's beauty. Puh-leaze. Let them focus on their own physical images and leave ours alone (singing "I am woman, hear me roar").
Why do women let men define our standards of beauty? And since we allow men to determine the baseline for what is attractive, why are we surprised that the so-called ideal image involves a Barbie prototype that doesn't even exist in real life? I mean it's ludicrous. As women, we agonize over every gray hair in our scalps, chins and nether regions. We stress over crows' feet and smile lines. Meanwhile, men start to bald and/or go gray and they're led to believe that they look distinguished. Crows' feet somehow allegedly make them look wiser. But women? Um, er, well...let's just say that there are aisles and aisles of wrinkle removers, age spot fade creams, hair dyes and the like waiting...
And our bodies? Well, some of us inject botox or get silicone implants in our breasts and our buttocks to give an image of sexiness that we feel can't be achieved naturally. Now, I'm all for women doing whatever they want in order to make themselves happy, but only if it's for oneself. Seeking external validation beyond a compliment (we all like flattery), is not the way to go for true self-fulfillment. I mean I love makeup and I've been known to wear foundation garments daily. However, if my husband insisted on either...Well I would be bare faced in a hot minute AND everything that's being held up and in, would have free rein to expand or scrape the ground or... (sorry for the visuals, but I have a point to make).
I'm not suggesting that women shouldn't take care of ourselves or try to look our best (whatever we define it as individually). What I am stating, emphatically, is that we should be who we feel we need to be. No person has the right to tell us how our bodies are supposed to be shaped or should look. We cannot continue to allow external elements to extinguish our voices about our physical landscapes. If you act of your own accord,then by all means, pluck it, fill it, shape it, dye it, wax it, nip it, tuck it, extract it, minimize it, control it, lift it, etc...as long as it's YOU who is defining it.
"Video" by India Arie
Why do women let men define our standards of beauty? And since we allow men to determine the baseline for what is attractive, why are we surprised that the so-called ideal image involves a Barbie prototype that doesn't even exist in real life? I mean it's ludicrous. As women, we agonize over every gray hair in our scalps, chins and nether regions. We stress over crows' feet and smile lines. Meanwhile, men start to bald and/or go gray and they're led to believe that they look distinguished. Crows' feet somehow allegedly make them look wiser. But women? Um, er, well...let's just say that there are aisles and aisles of wrinkle removers, age spot fade creams, hair dyes and the like waiting...
And our bodies? Well, some of us inject botox or get silicone implants in our breasts and our buttocks to give an image of sexiness that we feel can't be achieved naturally. Now, I'm all for women doing whatever they want in order to make themselves happy, but only if it's for oneself. Seeking external validation beyond a compliment (we all like flattery), is not the way to go for true self-fulfillment. I mean I love makeup and I've been known to wear foundation garments daily. However, if my husband insisted on either...Well I would be bare faced in a hot minute AND everything that's being held up and in, would have free rein to expand or scrape the ground or... (sorry for the visuals, but I have a point to make).
I'm not suggesting that women shouldn't take care of ourselves or try to look our best (whatever we define it as individually). What I am stating, emphatically, is that we should be who we feel we need to be. No person has the right to tell us how our bodies are supposed to be shaped or should look. We cannot continue to allow external elements to extinguish our voices about our physical landscapes. If you act of your own accord,then by all means, pluck it, fill it, shape it, dye it, wax it, nip it, tuck it, extract it, minimize it, control it, lift it, etc...as long as it's YOU who is defining it.
"Video" by India Arie
Friday, September 10, 2010
In Search of Satisfaction--Choosing You
Because you never know where life is gonna take you
and you can't change where you've been
But today, I have the opportunity to choose... India Arie in "I Choose"
For many of us, there may be a voice in our heads that keeps us from doing what we NEED to do for our own happiness. I don't mean your conscience that serves to keep you from making poor decisions, I mean that lingering, nagging self-doubt that manifests itself into dissatisfaction. Somewhere at the core of you is someone who wants to dream bigger, soar higher, shine brighter but...you can't. Because of something you did a long time ago or yesterday and someone or some folks said that you can't or you shouldn't so you don't. And then you are paralyzed in the graveyard of dreams with a poor outlook for yourself.
But I implore you to claim your right to satisfaction. Satisfaction doesn't equal wealth or more friends or... Satisfaction does not equal easy living, but at the end of the day you can be satisfied because you know that you did what you NEEDED to survive and even, thrive.
Listen, I made some poor decisions when I was younger and I made some mistakes that I felt that I could never come back from. I wanted to give up and just fade away. But something inside of me challenged me to do what I NEEDED to do and to follow the path that I wanted. I was in search of satisfaction and although I didn't know it then, I would go down an irreversible path of reclaiming my life. I would forge my own path shaped by my own understanding of who I wanted to become. I know now that the saying to thine ownself be true is a necessary component to who becoming yourself, to choosing yourself.
Never let anyone make you feel bad because you are in search of personal satisfaction through self-definition. Don't give your power away. The following song by India Arie was my manifesta last year; I even used it as my ring tone. I wanted everyone to know that when they came in contact with me, they were dealing with a fully developed and aware being. I know who and how I am and I make no apologies for that. I want the best for myself and am purposeful in my actions when I am working on myself. I choose me. Do you choose you?
India Arie "I Choose"
and you can't change where you've been
But today, I have the opportunity to choose... India Arie in "I Choose"
For many of us, there may be a voice in our heads that keeps us from doing what we NEED to do for our own happiness. I don't mean your conscience that serves to keep you from making poor decisions, I mean that lingering, nagging self-doubt that manifests itself into dissatisfaction. Somewhere at the core of you is someone who wants to dream bigger, soar higher, shine brighter but...you can't. Because of something you did a long time ago or yesterday and someone or some folks said that you can't or you shouldn't so you don't. And then you are paralyzed in the graveyard of dreams with a poor outlook for yourself.
But I implore you to claim your right to satisfaction. Satisfaction doesn't equal wealth or more friends or... Satisfaction does not equal easy living, but at the end of the day you can be satisfied because you know that you did what you NEEDED to survive and even, thrive.
Listen, I made some poor decisions when I was younger and I made some mistakes that I felt that I could never come back from. I wanted to give up and just fade away. But something inside of me challenged me to do what I NEEDED to do and to follow the path that I wanted. I was in search of satisfaction and although I didn't know it then, I would go down an irreversible path of reclaiming my life. I would forge my own path shaped by my own understanding of who I wanted to become. I know now that the saying to thine ownself be true is a necessary component to who becoming yourself, to choosing yourself.
Never let anyone make you feel bad because you are in search of personal satisfaction through self-definition. Don't give your power away. The following song by India Arie was my manifesta last year; I even used it as my ring tone. I wanted everyone to know that when they came in contact with me, they were dealing with a fully developed and aware being. I know who and how I am and I make no apologies for that. I want the best for myself and am purposeful in my actions when I am working on myself. I choose me. Do you choose you?
India Arie "I Choose"
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